6-Jan-2021_stop trying to reward yourself 
(Jesus speaking: )
Sometimes you think that to give yourself some treat, something you enjoy but might not be the best use of your time or resources or even your heath, is good for the Kingdom as it is for the purpose of keeping you going. That is to say that you need to “help yourself along” and reward yourself so you can keep fighting. 
But in many ways that is the “arm of the flesh”, and taking matters into your hands, or saying that God can’t help you enough in His special way, you need something else, something from this world, or something that satisfies your earthy tabernacle. 
But think of the boys in the Thailand cave, who went for all those days without anything to sustain, much less to satisfy. But they were kept and a made a testimony to the world.
So you think you are doing Me a favour by helping yourself with a bit of joy, a bit of indulging so you can get by and keep at the race—almost like as if having that extra treat, whatever it may be, in whatever form, you feel like you are giving a gift to Me by doing it or engaging in it. (It could be entertainment, reading material, foods that aren’t so great, time off to do whatever, when I’ve asked you to focus on a need instead, and so forth). You might say: “See I’ll be able to do more for you now, Lord”. You mutter an embarrassed excuse, trying to make yourself feel better. 
I just give you that little look, with a knowing smile. You know I see through it all. 
Darling, you don’t have to help Me reward you. It’s not a gift if you give it to yourself, is it? Why not just do or take in or have only what I have asked of you, and let Me choose the when and how to reward you. I’ve actually told you many things that will give you rewards along the way, and you can partake of them. If they aren’t giving you that thrilling sense of enjoyment, it’s probably because you are still filling your soul’s “gut” with other things of lesser quality, and so My gifts aren’t as tasty. 
It’s like someone who is spoiled with sugar can no longer taste food as good as those who have a completely clean diet. Those who refrain from sweets and then once in a rare while have a bit of honey, wow! It just about sends them. I can make things really good, if you’ll stop trying to “reward” yourself in your feeble ways. 
Don’t look at Me and say, “It’s for You, really, so I can work better and be happier.” I’m not going to buy that, and neither should you lie to yourself in that way. Let Me do the rewarding, and you do the fighting and working hard, and then embrace the gifts I do send you. But remember, there’s more being stored up than you can see now. A whole lot of pleasure is being laid up for you. You don’t have to have too many cookies from the tray just yet. We’re having a party, and you’ll be glad your appetite is good and ready to indulge in what I have for you then. Get good and hungry by working hard and fast, and saving most of the pleasures for later. Okay?